The House That Built Me

 

Here is a fun fact: I was not a big fan of this song for the longest time. I can’t really put my finger on why. Something turned me around a few months ago. Oddly enough it was not a Miranda performance of said song that did it. It was Selena “Wizard” Gomez that spun me around. I heard she did a performance of the song, gave it a listen, then went back to Miranda’s version to compare. As I expected, I preferred the Miranda version and put it on heavy rotation (for lack of a better term). I became such a fan of the song, I used it as the basis for the title of this very blog.

“I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard”

It may be the very last line in that first verse that caused me to think not very much of the song. Those type of things bother me. But I understand why the line is there. It emphasizes the importance of the house. A key line I believe is the “these handprints on the front steps are mine”. It indicates that she has left as much of a permanent impact on the house that it has on her.

“I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me.”

She is searching for something to fill a void, so she returns to what had made her strong. It is her safety. The house had been her foundation. I can relate to that type of thinking. Whenever I am feeling down, I return to the things that define me and made me who I am today. As life gets longer and harder, the things that made you who you are up to that point are kind of the cushions for life’s tough falls. It provides a solid reassurance and reignites the spark to continue on.

“Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream”

This is the verse that specifically turned it around for me. I can’t think of any deep meaning or analogy to go along with it. I just find the lyrics painting a wonderful picture.

A lot of times I find myself overwhelmed with life’s struggles, big or little, you can usually see this in my face. Recently I have turned and returned to the “House” that built me, not the actual physical house that I grew up in, but the things that have kept me sane and in a comfortable place. That is why this blog was made. That is why I am also writing a TNA Wrestling blog. That is why I am currently lining things up for what could be another enormous writing project. These things are what comfort me. These are serving as therapy. And even when recently things haven’t been going the way I liked, I am finding ways to take my mind off of those things, by “walking through the house”. It is giving me a chance to express myself when I feel I can’t do it any other way. These things are filling the brokenness that has been created in myself, by myself, other people, just the general flow of life. I understand the message of this song. When I first heard it, I assumed it was a simple one level song. “I grew up here, isn’t this nice”, but it’s the heartbroken sound in the lyrics and her voice that makes me relate to this.